Look how hardcore he is while holding that baby
But what if he used it on the guy who came to the door for his daughter?
TELL ME, MIDGARDIAN. WHAT ARE YOUR INTENTIONS TOWARDS MY DAUGHTER?
I AM OBLIGED TO INFORM YOU NOW THAT ANY DISRESPECT TOWARDS HER SHALL SURELY END POORLY FOR YOU.
WHOSOEVER DATETH MY DAUGHTER
IF HE BE WORTHY
THE BLESSING OF THOR
and watch when the time comes, he’ll just be like “Hey, mate, treat her good okay? Bring her back before eleven please. Drive safely.”
I THINK WE HAVE TO WORRY MORE ABOUT HER GODFATHER, TOM LOKI HIDDLESTON TBH.
What the hell.
This is the greatest post in the universe.
omg it’s updated
Rebloggin for the comments.
Tumblr, I can’t take you anywhere.
I love you
ALL of you
this post just keeps getting better!!!
Dear lord this girl is going to have the hardest time getting a boyfriend. The poor thing is going to come home, stomp up to her room, try to slam the door, but it’ll be impossible because Chris Hemsworth will effortlessly stop the door with his huge Norse God arm.
And she’ll be like “DAD! YOU SCARED HIM AWAY!”
“I DID NO SUCH THING, MY DEAREST DAUGHTER. I ONLY SPOKE TO HIM THE TRUEST TRUTH OF THE NINE REALMS.”
“Oh my god, dad…”
“HE HAD AN ILL LOOK ABOUT HIM, I LIKED IT NOT. YOU ARE DESERVING OF THE HIGHEST OF QUALITY IN MEN, NOT THE LIKES OF HIM. YOU HAVE A DUTY AS PRINCESS OF ASGARD TO MARRY WELL AND SERVE THE KINGDOM, AND I ALSO WISH THAT YOU MAY HAVE A HUSBAND WHO WILL TREAT YOU AS THE QUEEN YOU ARE.”
“Dad… I’m not a queen! Stop it!”
And then Tom Loki Hiddleston, her godfather, walks in and she’s like: “And YOU! YOU SCARED HIM, TOO!”
“Oh, I did? My mistake. I overestimated the bravery of the young man, I fear.”
“WELL DONE, BROTHER.”
“Dad! Uncle Tom! SHUT UP! YOU’RE NOT EVEN REAL BROTHERS!”
“I fear your daughter is saying hurtful things in her anger, she means them not, I think. Worry not, Thor, I had trouble with my children more than once…”
“UNCLE TOM YOU DON’T HAVE ANY KIDS!”
“BROTHER PERHAPS WE SHOULD LEAVE HER TO HER ANGER.”
“No, wait! You guys have to stop doing this, I’m never going to get a boyfriend if you keep doing this!”
“Oh, alright. We shall never again berate or intimidate the young men whom you present to us. I promise.”
“UNCLE TOM STOP TALKING LIKE THAT.”
“Darling girl, my name is Loki, God of Mischief, Silvertongue, Lord of Lies. I know not of this Tom you speak of.”
“YES, MY DEAR. YOUR YOUNG MEN SHALL BE SAFE FROM ANY SO-CALLED WRONGDOING OF OURS.”
“WHAT IS IT, DAUGHTER?”
“Never mind. Thanks, good night.”
#And then the next day Tom and Chris are in full costume#helmets and all#with their scepters and their capes#And she brings in this young guy#and they open the door#And there’s her father and her godfather#Tom smiling his smile#you know the evil one that’s also strangely sexy#And Chris has his hammer at the ready#and they greet him#calling him a suitor for the hand of the princess of Asgard#talking about how he’ll need to complete nine Trials to prove himself worthy to have her as his queen
but this just keeps getting better and better
EACH TIME I SEE THIS THERE ARE MORE WONDERFUL COMMENTS
OMG DIS POST. DEM COMMENTS /dying
It gets better every time!
I am CRYING oh my god
[[And there will be that one guy.
He won’t run or never call again.
He’ll sit there and play along.
“I, (insert name), swear on my very life that thine daughter, thine princess of Asgard shall return safely to you. My very life be forfeit at your hands if it be otherwise.”
It’ll be RDJ’s kid. His dad will have warned him about this long beforehand and quizzed him on it.]]
I didn’t even think it was possible for this post to get any better. Thanks for proving me wrong.
Best post EVER!!!
Oh, know the perils, read the signs,
the warning history shows,
for our Hogwarts is in danger
from external, deadly foes
And we must unite inside her
or we’ll crumble from within
I have told you, I have warned you…
let the Sorting now begin.
I’ve been waiting for this gifset <3 look how great is is that the houses are interacting and not everything is so black-and-white-and-we-all-hate-slytherin. I love it.
SLYTHERINS HOLDING HANDS WITH GRYFFINDORS
HUFFLEPUFFS DANCING WITH SLYTHERINS
RAVENCLAWS DRINKING AND STUDYING WITH GRYFFINDORS AND HUFFPUFFS
why does this have only one note
So on Friday I told you how to make superhero boots. (By the way, 1800 notes? Thanks!) Today I’m going to show you how to make custom thigh-highs (or socks in general.) We’ll just call it the sock weekend.
Here I’m making Tomoe Mami’s thigh-highs. (I’ve intentionally made them in brown, as I didn’t like the purple.) Do you know how hard it is to find thigh-highs in the right color, with that pinstripe? Not to mention, not everyone fits into those “one size fits most” socks; my thighs never co-operate with the things and they end up around my knees constantly. As a result I’ve taken to making my own.
You will need:
- Standard sewing tools (measuring tape, scissors, pins, sewing machine.) I used a serger for much of it but it’s really not necessary at all.
- Sufficient amount of a stretch fabric; the stretch will have to run around your leg at the very least. I used about 30”x45” and had plenty of scrap, so you should be safe with a yard.
- Enough wide elastic to make bands that fit snugly around your thighs.
That’s really it.
Cut your fabric into rectangles, the widest enough to fit the widest point of your leg. I freehand this because you really don’t need that much of it. Put one rectangle aside and focus on the first sock. Sew up the length and across the bottom. You have essentially just made a large wine bag for your thigh.
Stick your foot in this Sexy Wine Bag. Start pinning it so that your wine bag clings to you more like a sock. Go down to your ankle; it’s way easier to do this in two parts. When you are pleased with the tightness, carefully take it off your leg without disturbing the pins. It’s usually necessary to make a few adjustments to the pins once you have it off, just so they’re laying flat/even.
Sew up that fit you just made. You should end up with a sock that ends up with a club foot. (See picture. Laugh.)
Now do your foot. You may want to round it out over the toe so you don’t get little elf points. Doing the seam along the bottom of your foot is the absolute easiest, imho, because you get a better fit with less finicking, but you will also end up having the seam along the underside of your foot, which I know bothers some people. If this is weird to you, then do the seam along the side… you just might not have as good of a fit as you want without a lot of finicking if your fabric doesn’t have a lot of stretch.
Carefully take it off, adjust the pins for neatness, and sew again.
Trace this finished sock against your other Sexy Wine Bag and sew that one, too. If you’re super into it, trace the sock off on paper, too, so that you have a pattern you can reuse next time without having to do any pinning/fitting.
YOU HAVE SOCKS NOW :)
But these socks don’t have finished top hems, are let’s be real, are liable to fall down if they’re left all on their own. You could just fold them over and hem ‘em, but I like elastic in there for support.
Put on your socks (inside out!), make your elastic bands, and slide the bands on overtop your socks. Fold the top edge of the sock down over the elastic band and pin it in place. Go all the way around your leg –– be careful doing this, as it can be tricky to pin against the underside of your thigh when you can’t really see what you’re doing, but it’s doable. When you’ve finished pinning, take it off –– it should look a little weird, as the fabric is no longer stretched. No big deal; sew it in place, making sure you stretch the fabric out as you sew it. I like to catch the needle along the edge of the elastic just so it doesn’t roll/do weird things inside the casing.
And then voila. You have finished socks.
Go kill Witches.
My night and morning in a masterpost. I just needed this all together coz I need this whole thing saved if ever I need a quick laugh, albeit a guilty embarrassed one. Just.
i am still so so so so so so so so so so sorry to thorgasmed and their compromised commute i wish you all the luck in the world and i’m really really really really sorry for my odd pride in this just.
Link to the fic: [x]
I’ve seen this about three times now and it’s still the best smutfic anecdote ever.
Glad you like it so much ;D
I will never not die at the Stucky smut bus story.
there are probably people who havent seen this vine and i genuinely feel bad for them
The pure fact that this doesn’t even need a title or a description or anything speaks volumes. I mean look at the number of notes this has. There are so few people who don’t recognize it. And the song itself just gives you chills. It’s so magical.
^ THAT WAS MY EXACT REACTION
I swear to fucking god tumblr if this is another fucking Spongebob pos-
Oh…I CLOSED MY TUMBLR APP ON MY PHONE AND IT KEPT PLAYING.